“Living and playing in Vancouver meant a constant deluge of media coverage. TV, print, radio, blogs — every arm of the media Leviathan had Luongo in their clutches at one point. It’s difficult for any Canuck player to escape the gaze of the media, but for a star player it’s an impossibility.”

The Province’s Legion of Blog’s fictional responses to “Luongo’s concerns” including: the media, playing time, fan recognition and team system.

Here’s how the teams would handle the blood-thirsty media:

New York Islanders – We would deflect the attention of the media from Roberto by pointing out that  our “capologist” has extrapolated that there are over 546.789 combinations of various body parts and kitchen utensils that Rick DiPietro has yet to injure himself with.

Tampa Bay Lightning – The Tampa Bay Lightning would control the outlets allowed to have access to Roberto Luongo. Right now, the two publications that seem to have the inside track are:  Italian Goaltender Weekly and The Luongo Family Christmas Newsletter. Also, Skymall has submitted a questionnaire asking where Roberto likes to eat when he’s in downtown Nashville.

Toronto Maple Leafs – Our GM is Brian Burke. There was an 8 page color spread in today’s paper about his ties causing seizures in children. That’s all you need to know.

Columbus Blue Jackets – Could you clarify what you mean when you talk about this, “media coverage.”

Canucks have acquired checking centre Sami Pahlsson at the trade deadline from the Columbus Blue Jackets, in exchange for two fourth-round draft picks.

He’s baaaaccccccckkkkkkk.

Goalie Cory Schneider may have grabbed all the attention, but Ryan Kesler provided the glue for the Canucks to overpower Columbus.